Wednesday, 18 April 2012

" The Last Supper "

My grandma was an old aged woman but stil she looked so young and pretty, at the age of ninety she stil managed to do household work.. Though she was paralysis patient but stil she was the only active lady in our family..
Her chrismatic personality was adored not only by the family members but also by the outsiders.She was someone who could bring happiness on ur face even when things ought to be against u.. To me she was more than my own mother,i had an amazing bonding with her. When mom use to scold me it was grandma who use to be on my side and scold mom for scolding me. She was the only person who was close to my heart,i shared each and everything with her rather than sharing it with mom.

I enjoyed her company alot and thats the reason whenever dad made a trip to mom's hometown i felt dejected,
heavy tears roled down from my eyes thinking that mom dad would postpone the trip seeing my tears but nothing could ever melt their heart .. i use to feel as if my life is going away from me. never would i use to bear that separation. Grandma also used to feel insecure but she also used to be helpless,so in order to solve the problem i use to carry her photograph along with me so that i can feel that she is with me and not away from me.

Since i was the first born in my family so i had always been very close to everyone especialy to grandma over which my sister always enveyed me.. Grandma was different from others in the sense that she was soft hearted,polite and curteous. she believed there is more greatness in giving. She was lady with sweet voice and that was the reason y everyone loved her. She could hear anything against her with smile on her face as a result of which people themselves use to feel guilty .. She knew how to win other's heart. She was loved by one and ol in family.. Mom and dad too had high regards and respect for her.

When i was a kid she use to hold me everytime in her lap, instead of sleeping with mom i used to sleep with her and when mom use to beat me she would take me in her room and would hug me and make me sleep. She was the best grandma. She had magic in her hands. She was best known for her cooking skills and i was the fan of her cooking, she used to make different dishes for me and i enjoyed eating them.Everything use to be just so perfect, even mom use to admire her cooking. Grandma used to treat mom as her own daughter and thats the reason mom use to tel her " ma, aapne mujhe bigaad diya h.apke bina hm kaise jee payenge" and to that grandma use to smile and say "kbhi kbhi bigadna b acha hota h".

She use to wake up early morning so probably she would finish every household work and by the time mom used to wake up she would prepare the breakfast for mom.. She never use to woke mom,instead she always use to tel her that til  the time i am alive u wont do even a single work.To that mom would hug her tight and say :" u r the best mother in law". Mom had high respect for grandma.

I stil remember i was in 3rd when grandma got second paralysis attack and she lost her speech,inspite of consistent efforts by us to provide her with the best. Time took a turn and all our efforts failed and then we realised that she had lost her speech forever.. It was more than a cyclone for us.. To me it came like a tornado which took away from me my everything.. Hopes were stil alived but injuries were such that there was nothing to heal them up.In a moment i felt i lost my world... That was not enough, one year later grandpa expired and that was the big loss to family.. grandma was completely broken from inside, she has many more to share but she lost that one thing which silently hurt her alot, at this point of time she felt its better to die than to live.. I realy felt pity on her.. throughout her life she was the master of her own will but something else was predestined for her.. At this point of time i felt what wrong she did in her past that god rewarded her with such ailment..

Her condition worsen day by day, she use to explain everything with gestures. Though we understood but sometimes it was difficult even for us to make out wot did she want to say.. That was the worse moment for al of us cuz tears use to start roling down from our eyes to see that after trying to explain us wotever she wanted to say, silence drove her to some other world and then she used to sit just num and helpless.. I could read from her eyes how much pain she was going through but hats off to her that even in that condition she would just use to put a broad smile on her face.. Her condition was that she had lost her power of speech, her right side paralysed completely and she lost the ability to walk.. even then she was not dependent on anyone.. She use to try her best in every possible way to walk on her own and eat on her own.. and she succeded in that. she began to eat with her left hand and walk slowly on her own taking the support of wheel chair..

Seeing her in such situation i always use to cry in front of her but she use to wipe of my tears and looking above she would point her finger but noone of us could understand that gesture of hers...
3 years later she got another paralytic attack and this time more dangerous one, she got her waist fractured due to the attach.. now that was the real heavy blow for ol of us... Dad tried his best to get her admitted in a one hospital and he succeded also in that... But time took a turn, rather than showing improvement her condition worsened badly... Finaly a day came when she got discharged, we came back home... and had a long chat with grandma, everyone sat around her and made the efforts to bring a smile on her face... we had our supper together and finaly then she went off to sleep... We thought everything is fine but who knew that was her last supper with us....

Early morning i went in grandma's room just to saw her sleep but as i walked in i felt the silence... Mom dad and everyone was already sitting there with tears in their eyes... i got the hint that something terrible had happened but i didn't want to face it... my fear turned into reality when i found that my grandma was no more   with us.. she had gone forever leaving us all behind... for me it was a biggest shock, my life,my love,my bonding,my joy,my smile everything went away with her...  i was just speechless, i cried alot even whole day whole night but no effect .. the memories spent with her made me cried even more.. that day i understood her gesture : she meant to say  " one day i will be watching u from above"
 alas! my world came to an end with her death... that night was the night of her "Last Supper" with us
her death shook me completely and broke me from within... even til now her memories are lived in my  heart but til now tears roll down from my eyes when i talk about her...
  my heart knows how i wrote this... but then my love for her will never die.. love u grandma !!!


  1. Very Eloquent!!!
    I must say that your love for your grandama has come out grandly in the writing.
    Grandparents are truly a treasure...incomparable to anything in every way. Sigh!

    You have written wonderfully, and you can emote really well with your writing. Do not say that your life came to end with her death...rather consider that she gave you a new beginning...that has in a way metamorphosed in your writing!

    You have miles to go before you sleep, dearest Rinni. Good work!! Keep it up!

  2. thank u so much lopa di for such sweet words...
    i just tried to write,m happy that u liked it..
    ur words of wisdom motivate me to do better infact u r my real inspiration. keep on writting and i will keep on following u like a shadow..
    love <3